I got a Merit! I feel a little guilty as I only did two weeks study for this exam and it wasn’t two weeks of solid work at that. Time wise I couldn’t have really done more – only had 2 weeks free – but I could have been more productive. I thought my work was Pass quality and getting a Merit makes me feel a little guilty – other people did more work and still failed. I suppose I can’t help having a good cramming memory. Ah well.

Arg! :crazy: Results for end of year exams out tomorrow! I’m doing quite well at forgetting and having a normal evening but the downside is when I do remember it hits me like a sack of ice. I really really really wanna pass….

Basil rat is ill. Well, that’s obvious – he’s 3 years old, has had Myco (snuffles) his whole life and has had degenerative myelopathy for the last 6 months (weakness to paralysis of his hind limbs). Now he has a large hard swelling on his pelvis by his tail. It’s either a bone tumour or an abscess. I hope it’s a tumour. An abscess means a trip to the vets, which would probably kill him. A tumour won’t affect him in the slightest at this age – plus rat tumours are benign as a rule.

I have problems with euthanasia. I’ve been brought up to think that it’s usually better for an animal to die of it’s own accord than to be taken to a scary vets – especially when they are rodents. Euthanasia has it’s place but for me that place is further down the line than for other people. I had Lily (Basil’s life partner) put down 2 days late. I know it was 2 days late, she went from very-ill-but-strong-life-force to given-up in one day, and I waited another day hoping she’d die herself in her sleep. She didn’t – tough little minx. Now Basil has lost the use of his hind legs which have wasted, and his breathing is getting steadily worse, but he still loves his sweetcorn and would happily attack me for chocolate so I continue to ignore those who think they know better. When he refuses his food, that’s when his mental strength is waning – and I shall act then this time instead of waiting. In my defence, Lily was my first animal I’ve ever had euthanased – the decision was the hardest I’ve ever had to make. And I think it’s worse once your studying to be a vet and you’ve worked as a nurse as you know too much and have seen too much to feel comfortable with the idea.

I watched a BBC wildlife program today about lemurs. Ringtailed Lemurs are an unusual lot! The females patrol and go to war with neighbouring groups, complete with newborn babies on their backs! Quite incredible. Plus they only have one baby a year. So how the species survived when they only have one young a year and then they take that young to war is a conundrum… This is a sweet story though – I like the bit when the baby lemur is upset because they washed Cow. Some great photos here too – Lemur catta – perhaps because they make a sound like a cat?

Got myself a new Terry Pratchett book yesterday – A Hat Full Of Sky. It’s a good book – I highly recommend it. I’d recently been feeling that Discworld was becoming a tad cookie-cut – Monstrous Regiment was good but dear me, was it predictable. Night Watch I adored, but that’s probably because I love the Watch and Lord Vetinari. The Trousers of Time theories often hurt my brain though. A Hat Full Of Sky is reminiscent of the old Equal Rites and Masquerade books – clever and unpredictable because they run on people and not on theories about the space-time-trouser continuum. Ironically, although Monstrous Regiment also ran on people, it evidently had a unfeasibly high quotient of narativium, so was predictable from start to finish. I’m also struggling through the Science of Discworld II (always takes me a few months to read the Science of Discworld books – heavy on theories and new ways of thinking) and I have the kids book The Wee Free Men which really I should have read before A Hat Full Of Sky as it is a sort-of-prequel to said book. However I’m managing so far. I love Witch novels – the remind me that my aim in life is to become the village hag :laugh:

PS that last paragraph would only make sense to Pterry fans so don’t panic if it was so much cheese to you.

T’is Wednesday, my traditional go home day. However the weather is evil (floods in low places) and it plans to bucket it down later and I don’t fancy driving about in that. So I’m staying here.

I should introduce Niggle. Niggle is a feeling, best personified as a small black labrador puppy making irritating whining noises in your ear. Imagine that. That’s “niggly”. And that’s how I feel. Possibly due to having a half day and instead of going home via B&Q and making loads of phone calls I need to do from home I decide to stay up here. So unachieving and feeling niggly because of it. *sigh* I’ve come to the conclusion I’m the most unorganised beast on the planet. I have to organise this term’s work, learn last term’s work, work experience (AKA EMS) to sort out, EMS feedback forms to complete, T-Mobile owe me money (hence one phone call to make), I have websites to design, clubs to build and organise and be a member of, a room to decorate, gardening to do, tools to buy, sticky hooks to buy, animals to clean, cat to take to vets at home, got to phone vets about guinea-pig with broken teeth, need to buy a run, need to email Essex Cavy Society (info is at home of course), need to buy *thinks* 3 hutches? and transport pigs up here to PB, practice tarot, do yoga, buy milk AGAIN, get phone credit, research landlines, chose a project for the year, research bovine respiratory diseases, sort out bills for housemates, houseclean, I have washing to do and it’s vile weather, BBQ to plan, CDs to burn, books to buy, it’s blinking vaccination time for all 3 cats and the rabbit again which entails a fluffy hair impregnated hectic journey to the vets where he says “she’s still fat, she’s fat and half bald, he’s fat (“he’s not, he’s compressed himself!” I protest), she’s fat and bloody fluffy – why do you bring her here when she’s moulting?!” and I get reminded again how as an ex-nurse and current vet student I really should aim to own a few slim animals at some point, and SOMEWHERE in the world must sell washable de-linter rolls. *end vent* Hmm, that helped… a blog really does pay off!

The title is for those Chemists among you. For the non-Chemists (or those who have sensibly erased all knowledge of bizarre scientific concepts from your long term memory) entropy is the level of disorder in a system, and at time 0 entropy was 0. Since then (i.e. since time began) disorder increases so entropy increases. I must be currently breaking my previous personal entropy record…

So college has started. And already I’m daydreaming in lectures. I have’t even got my results back from the exams yet, and still can’t get up the enthusiasm to immerse myself in the joys of the respiratory system. It might get better – the fact that every lecture so far has been a recap of a part of year 1-3 knowledge makes it hard to concentrate – I don’t tolerate repetition no matter how helpful it may be. No matter how helpful. I just don’t tolerate it. :confused: Yes, I am my own worst enemy when it comes to buckling down and working.

I missed the last drats game of the season which is a little irritating. It was today, and we thought the last game was next Wednesday. I can’t really get home on Tuesdays so couldn’t make it to the game. Tis a shame as my average has been improving – I actually get to play in all 3 sets now. Admittedly the only way I score high is by contorting into weird and wonderful shapes – the yoga must be paying off…

I think I’m addicted to Tesco shopping. I’ve been two nights in a row so far, and I keep buying random freezable food. I came to the conclusion today as I staggered under the weight of all my frozen food whilst trying to fit it into my two freezer drawers that I officially have far to much food. I blame the milk. If it wasn’t for running out of milk I wouldn’t have to go shopping as often. It brings a whole new meaning to the term “lactose-intolerant”. Also I’ve lived here since Jan now and only today did I notice that beside my 1 pint goat milk cartons are fabulous 2 pint plastic bottles of goat’s milk! That would cut my absurd shopping frequency in half – I’d actually have a chance to eat some food before going out and buying more…

“Let’s be like real young people!”. It sounded a good idea at the time, yet the morning after the dawn before is typically filled with declarations of t-totalism for eternity. Ah well. Considering what I consumed a vague feeling of dehydration and lethagy isn’t too bad.

And some of that is due to the mild heatstroke – having got up at 8 to see off A I decided to wander off at 10 to go shopping to the high street about a mile away. And it’s bloody hot out. And I was wearing a woollen cardigan. And my boot was broken due to a certain Beast of Antioch deciding that boot zip was an acceptable dietry supplement. The boot in itself didn’t contribute to my anti-weather feelings but it was rather irritating. It’s a good boot. :plain:

On the plus side it was a nice walk and no doubt as done me the world of good, and I did get to buy things. “Things” being painkillers, aftersun (Friday was a sun worshiping day as internet was playing up), sun tan lotion (in the unlikely event I ever venture outside again voluntarily), some plants and seeds (to force me to go outside again) and rescue remedy (to encourage me to actually talk to other humans). No boots though – PB has one shoe shop and it’s shoes have gold inlay. That’s the only thing I can think of that would justify the prices.

Barbeque tomorrow, apparently. Lovely weather and all. We have neither barbeque nor food but that doesn’t appear to have detered anyone much. The lack of wine (3 1/2 bottles is considered a shortage – I didn’t know this) is however worrying us considerably. And we have a guest. I’d best do my chores and tidy the lounge so he has somewhere slightly less hair-impregnated to park himself.

Ok, the social idea of 4 hours of drinking cheap wine and eating pizza does have it’s advantages. The main one being my noisy neighbours aren’t so annoying afterwards. Plus simple predictive text mistakes such as “I frank a lot of wind” amuse me for a disproportionate amount of time… :hehe:

So finally I made my blog. Exams are over and finally I can do what I want! End result? I loaf about doing nothing and feeling despondant. Isn’t that always the way? The reason I was inspired to start a blog (long story warning) is this. It was Easter, I was supposed to be revising and I saw everyone had “Happy Easter” sigs at the forum. So due to my infinate and highly developed sense of humour I decided to make a “Happy Toaster” sig and went on a search for happy toasters. As often happens when googling, I got totally distracted and ended up at Stray Toaster (Speaking Before) Thinking, which was such a good read it reminded me my mission in life (that day) was to make a blog! So here it is And joy of joys, Greymatter has upgraded since I last used it.

People are being friendly towards me. You may think this a good thing. T’isn’t good for recluses (or rather, it is good for recluses but they don’t like it). My idea of a nice relaxing evening is to chill on my computer, drinking tea, reading fanfics and listening to music. To more socially able people, this is boring. “Clash of personalities” is a light way to describe it. I need my 9 blocks of personal space damnit!

Do you like the layout incidently? I took that photo today, whilst driving up to PB. Obviously not actually while driving – I’d stopped at a roundabout. The photos I took whilst actually moving came out blurry if they came out at all. And were a slight safety hazard…

The reason for my recklessness is because I adore Epping Forest, and it looked absolutely fabulous in the spring sunlight today. Gorgeous!