I’ve had the most evil headache for about 12 hours now. I refuse to believe it’s due to my absurd time keeping these past few days (on Saturday I was up til 5am Sunday, then slept till 11am, bed again at 2.30am and up at 10am). And of course it has nothing to do with spending all my waking hours from Friday evening til Sunday evening on this infernal machine. More about that later.

Hell’s Kitchen. My mother (who admittedly liked Fame Academy, so why I take her advice I’m not sure) recommended it and now I’m hooked. I don’t think voting is necessary though – do we really need popularity contests to make a program interesting? Apparently so – Big Brother 5 – Version “Who really gives a damn” can attest to that. We see Angus in his new job, and delighted with it he looks too. I’m a huge fan of Have I Got News For You and I adored Angus prior to his fall from grace but there is something pathetic about him now – reduced to a Davina position interviewing people who tend to walk away from him. It (the prog, not Angus) has inspired me to learn more cooking skills though…

This brings me neating onto the next topic! Today I entertained the Grandmothers – my Nan and my Grandma came up with my parents today to see my house for the first time. I introduced them to the concept of fahitas. I believe they enjoyed it, though they did become more “pile of meat and veg on a fragmenting tortilla eaten with knife and fork” but to be honest you don’t end up with most of it on your lap that way. We took a very long visit to B&Q which took the scenic route through Potters Bar, Chipping Barnet, New Barnet, East Barnet and Enfield before we ended up at the bottom of the A10 at a B&Q. Please note, there is one about 5 mins away down the A1 from my house. Like most epics I can’t remember how or why we chose to spend 45 mins to achieve this. But end result – we got there. And this is worth knowing – B&Q warehouses are open late on Bank Holidays. Their website does not clarify this point.

I achieved! I’m so proud of myself it’s unreal. I made a set of php scripts that call from 3 tables, insert into those tables and edit rows in them. This is a major acomplishment for little non-php wiz me! Thus I have spent several days solidly staring at and tweaking code. I find it such fulfilling work, it’s a little worrying. The sense of triumph when you change = to < and it works is incredible! Miss out one ; and the entire script disintegrates... truly it is a activity that perfectly complements the perfectionist Virgo nature.

Plus it’s very pretty Tis Rose and Sea Green – lovely.

:laugh: Oh I am loving these spam subjects, really brighten up my day! To make that one even more delightful it’s from someone called “Queen Harvey”…

*falls onto floor in giggling heap!*

*cackle!* And I thought the high point of my washing clothes life was putting the hand and teatowels in with the blue bathroom mats. My latest achievement was putting the same towels in with the oven gloves and dying them all a rather fetching shade of green!

I rather like it… the kitchen towels match the green kitchen but I don’t know if the previously blue and white checked bath towels will fit in so well with the blue bathroom now they are blue and green…

And Vanish works – they’re lovely and clean (normally stained) and only on a 40 deg wash! Marvellous.

Also I found my card reader on my lappy after only – what – 3 months of owning it? And I had to read the manual to do so!

From a few days ago – the rabbit discovers my stash of hay and decides to feed herself.

And that is the subject of a spam email I just got. I’m tempted to open the email… the subject is intriguing. Perhaps that’s the answer for spammers – email people with a random assortment of words and see who’s curiosity gets the better of them?

I keep remembering things that I need to do and subsequently forgetting others. The table top of life is a table with lots of stuff on – you add something new and something else falls off. That’s a My Mum Metaphor. Like trying to think of more than 7 numbers at once. I suppose if I did a few it might help…

Castell Henllys – been there! Sister Ding texted to ask how to spell it. It’s where Surviving the Iron Age was set – I rather liked that series but it was rather irritating that they tried to run it with modern PC values. But it was pretty cool to go somewhere you’d see on TV – especially as I didn’t realise it was the same place and wandered round for some time with a vague sense of deja vu…

I spent 4 hours tidying my house today. I’ve come to the conclusion I’m either house proud or neurotic. 3 week old sludge on the cooker probably is a good reason to clean though. Sadly the sludge only half came off. I shall attack it again tomorrow with a different cleaner. The kitchen is only about 9 months old or something – that’s what students will do to a house.

Jezza on Virgin Radio talks too much. I enjoy his show when driving late at night (as I oft end up doing) but whilst trying to write a blog it’s the most irritating nattering imaginable.

You may think from reading this blog that I am a raging alcoholic. In fact the truth is it’s nearing the end of term and so the Final Years (who are graduating) need little excuse to hold parties and balls, and the Third Years (of which I am one) need little excuse to attend said shindigs. And so yesterday we went to the May Ball – 5.30pm til 1am, with champagne (aka bucksfizz) reception, sit down buffet, disco, live college band and my highlight of the evening – a ceilidh!

How bizarre – I just reread the email about the ball and apparently there was a casino?! I can’t imagine I missed that – I wandered about a lot. :confused:

So yes – a good time was had by all. With girls outnumbering boys 7 to 1, not to mention all girls in high heels and ballgowns the ceilidh was extremely entertaining. Drunk people can’t keep time either so the end result is a bunch of girls staggering around aimlessly trying to remember who’s supposed to be male. The college band wasn’t too shabby either – they played some pretty good stuff and they played it well to boot.

I shall have to get the photos of this and of the Halfway Meal developed and show a select few here. The innocent must be protected!

The evening had it’s sad moments – tis H’s last party before she leaves us all forever in 5 weeks time. We’ve both sworn to email each other twice a year – neither of us have perfected the art of “keeping in touch” so twice yearly is actually quite impressive. She’s coming back to college next year but will be in the year below. I’m sad as I get on best with her out of our group – plus we’re the bitching queens and I’ll not have anyone to bitch with anymore! We’re going out to lunch tomorrow and end of term meal is planned. ‘Tis a very unhappy Kai that will say bye to her good friend in 5 short weeks .

As I fed my rabbit some pizza crust this morning I thought about something my lecturer had said. Birds aren’t supposed to eat tea and coffee as the caffine isn’t good for them – gives them heart arrhythmias. He scoffed a little about pet owners wanting their pets to eat the same food they did. So it got me thinking. One of my favourite aspects of rat ownership is that my rats liked tea, horlicks, cooked breakfast – in fact, anything I was eating or drinking at any time. My rabbit and I have grown closer since she moved indoors and we discovered we had a mutual love of bbq beef flavoured crisps (seems morally wrong for a rabbit to eat cow flavoured snacks but there you go). We now share any carbohydrate food going. Even my fish have cucumber. One of my cats eat crisps and another will only drink water out of her own mug.

So yes, I have odd animals and I’m a terribly indulgent pet owner. That’s not the point here – why do humans get comfort from sharing with other beasties? When we were apes (well, more hairy anyway) did we share food as part of social bonding? We used to mutual groom and we stroke pets to bond – maybe there’s another link there. It’s a shame that rabbits, rats and cats are notoriously selfish with food so are unable to bond back in the same way. People make dog biscuits. Biscuits do not exist in the wild – they are a human food adapted for dogs – more bonding?

If this is true, then perhaps the way to bond with other cultures is through food. As I went to a girls’ grammer school and I grew up in the outskirts of London I find it easy to interact with Asians – we eat the same food. Chicken Tikka (mum’s homemade) is more common in my house than a Sunday roast. Jewish food for example I know nothing about and I feel self concious in bagel shops! And I feel at home with anyone who lists having a nice cuppa tea as a priority in life. Or maybe it’s nothing to do with the fact it’s food and more to do with feeling safe with what you know. I know Indian and Chinese cuisine, but am lost in Turkish, Greek or Thai restaurants. I won’t go to those restuarants if I don’t have to, because I don’t know what to order, because I’ve never been there. Vicious circle. Ah! The secret is takeaway! When you can order in the comfort of your own home and not be embarrassed when you order something totally stupid you can learn in safety.

Well that was todays insightful look into the origins of man and the role of food in our society. I am now required to go shopping for clothes for the ball tomorrow. Ug – I hate clothes shopping…

So yes – onto the more mundane aspects of life.

The reason for my prolonged absence is that just as I was dragged out of my depressive rut by my mum I came down with a nasty virus. I missed Monday and Thursday (today). I have a test tomorrow and have reached new depths of non-revision – I must do some after this post. This is why I hate afternoon exams – I always assume I’m gonna work wonders in the morning.

I emailed Gytha with a life update – she’s so refreshing – she congratulated me on a healthy stalker-stalkee relationship and told me she couldn’t be bothered to read all of my blog. She’s great – keeps me earthbound.

I was gonna write about how cute the rabbit was being today. But she just pooed on my bag. So now she’s back to being the Beast of Antioch and that’s all there is to it. She’s just a cuter beast that normal.

She has got being cute down to a T though…

Narf – I love Edward Monkton’s work…

Wow… that’s disquietening… I was looking up myself in Google. I couldn’t find myself, but I did find a watercolour of Lyn Falls in Exmoor. Looks beautiful and is accompanied by a little note of how this little pretty stream flooded Lynmouth in 1952 and killed many people. :crazy:

In the true nature of the telling of stories, I should start from the beginning. That there was the end. The beginning dates back to me reading on another blog about people who’d lost their jobs due to their blogs (either what they wrote or the fact they wrote it during work time). I had a half hearted worry about it and then forgot. However a few days ago a friend suffered the same fate. So in panic mode I closed all my entries and am rewriting any even mildly dodgy bits.

Thus, I was looking myself up in Google to see if someone, knowing my real life name could find me on the web. Turns out they can’t, which is reassuring. Of course, anyone knowing a tiny bit about my online activities could find me in seconds. However luckily those people are either unlikely to know me in real life, or will know I’m not to be taken 100% seriously.

If you know me in real life and read this and were offended in any way – bear in mind nothing was meant maliciously and I generally like all people and organisations around me. However for the sake of humour I may sacrifice politeness for a quick gag or nag. No more! I shall be the paragon of niceness and will only complain about inanimate objects and rabbits.

My server is rather pants today so I’m writing this in Notepad whilst I wait for pages to load. Might give up and watch StarGate instead as it’s being inhumanely slow. Oh I reserve the right to complain about servers and computers in general – curbing that natural urge would send over half of the Western world insane.

…which makes me half a cow…

*blurp*

Ok, best to do a chronologigigical update so I don’t forget anything.

Saturday I went with H to the Final Year Review and party afterwards and got veh veh drunk. Again. It was excellent – the Review featured spot on impersonations of lecturers and many fantastic parody songs, and the partay was at a very poash nightclub. The night ended with us being invited back to someone’s house for toast and sausage* – food is always a nice way to round a night off! – and then a mile walk (read stagger) home along the A1000 at 3am – that’s the life!

So crashed at H’s house, got up at 9 and drove home in my jimjams (the luxury!). Later that day I checked on Basil to find him bleeding and pretty out of it so I rushed him to college and had him put down. I’m oddly not that sad, probably because it was the right time and he’s with Lily now, no doubt fighting over a chicken bone as usual!

After that I took Basil home to Essex and buried him next to his girl. I spent the night at home as it was easier – people who don’t know me kept trying to console me and I wasn’t upset, so it just irritated me instead. They mean well and I appriciate it, but you can’t beat parents for listening to you rant without giving any opinion you don’t want to hear.

So Monday came, and I fell into college in a foul mood, spent the day in a foul mood, spent the evening in a foul mood and am now gone through foul and found some absurd cheeriness on the other side. I really need to get out of this rut.

Plus I said foolish things on Saturday night that I now regret. And that’s haunting me. Arg.

The title is from a Review parody of “I’m a hazard to myself” by Pink, called “I’m a hazard to their health”. Apt, don’t you think?

* Good lord, I just re-read that and it sounds awful! :crazy: yikes…